Lelah Davis’ Guide to Beauty and Right Living*

Lelah Davis at Lake Erie Displaying Her Credo and Knees
Lelah Davis at Lake Erie Displaying Her Credo and Knees

1. Roll up your sleeves: you’ll look ten years younger.
2. Stick scotch tape between your eyebrows when you sleep. It will prevent frown lines from forming.
3. But don’t frown. Your face will be frozen that way.
4. Wear sunglasses everywhere. This will prevent crow’s feet.
5. Never let the first drink pass your lips.
6. Do not smoke. It isn ‘t lady like.
7. Never do anything you wouldn’t do in front of your mother.
8. Do not wear jeans out on the streets. You know what happens to girls who do that. Plus you will look “jakey”*.
9. Do not cross your legs when seated.
10. Do not put your hand in your mouth or pick your teeth in public.
11. Do not apply make-up in public.
12. A clothespin on the nose at night will make it narrower.
13. If your dog’s breath is not good, apply some Chanel Number 5 to its tongue.
14. A little brilliantine applied to the hair makes it shine.
15. All you need for your face is a little witch hazel applied with cotton balls.
16. Jergen’s Lotion is the best thing for hands.
17. Beeman’s gum is a necessity. But don’t chew in public.
18. Chew every bite of food 32 times.
19. Never date the first Catholic. (Unless, of course, you are Catholic.)
20. Don’t think too much. Don’t dwell on things.
21. Eat as if the King of England is sitting across the table from you.
22. You are as good as anybody else.
23. Marry a rich man. Love fades so might as well have money.
24. Fold your napkin next to your place at the table. Unless you don’t intend to