February 19, 2024
Draft
Photographs: Dr. Louanna Pettay (above) and Lillith in McArthur, Ohio visiting Aunt Dorothy
PART I
Mac
Alpine ‘s Brigadoon MacTavish was a registered AKC Scottie dog, born in Beavercreek, Ohio. I had recently seen Brigadoon on stage in Dayton, hence the name. He was a tiny brindle fellow when I got him…me probably 6th grade. He was adorable. My grandmother put Chanel number 5 on his tongue to help “sweeten” his breath. There was nothing wrong with his breath. She may have been poisoning him. They were not pet-liking women, my mother and grandmother. Dogs kind okay. Cats absolutely not. They suck babies breaths…and do more horrible things I learned about much later. You don’t need to know.
Mac had to sleep in the garage. Not nice. I fed him sweetened condensed milk and some kind of calcium to help stiffen his ears. He had clipped ears, taped to a tongue depresser. I would be horrified by this today. He didn’t live long. I was very careful, but my foolish mother opened the garage door one morning before I was up. He ran out and straight onto Hanes Road. I heard the brakes and the screams. I held him and sobbed all the way to the vet. He did not live. I never forgave. I remember vowing never to love any creature so fiercely again. It hurt too much. I soon began reading existential texts and writing dark poetry. I was one of those kids teachers should keep an eye on.
Beagles
Betsy Diffendal and I lived in an upstairs apartment in an old house in Columbus (right off State Street and across from campus. It was next door to a John Birch Society bookstore.) while still undergrad students at Ohio State. It was a good place to live. After my cousin (who thought she was Holly Golightly and decorated with bentwood chairs and Tiffany lamps) moved from downstairs, a hot sub place moved in. I would study late then run downstairs for a hot sub. I had a horse hair mattress. It came with the place. My cousin told me I had no taste (I had never cultivated taste) but offered to teach several of us how to eat artichokes. We’d never seen one. She had gone to a private school. I had a series of roommates before Betsy. One had a French boyfriend named Jacques who often slept over. Another one was from Hawaii and worked at a dancer at Columbus’ Polynesian restaurant. She danced when smoking drinks in pineapple mugs were served to customers. Sometimes when I came home between classes, she was dancing while a circle of boys were sitting on the floor in adoration or ….. She wouldn’t let me cook. Because she thought I couldn’t. Sometimes she kicked doors open when she was serving a tray of food. She was very scary. She left and I had a big phone bill to pay. All calls to Hawaii. Betsy and I got a couple of Beagle puppies and kept them in a gated yard attached to the house. They were stolen within a couple of weeks.
Lilith
Still at Ohio State and same apartment, our professor, physical anthropologist, Luanna Pettay was a great character with a BMW convertible sports car and a red Doberman with unclipped ears. I liked her because in my first physical anthro class with her, she had me pegged for an upper paleolithic left over. All these years later, I know she was correct. I have a good portion of Neanderthal DNA. What did she see?
Her Doberman was named Sam.
Betsy and I often cleaned her house located somewhere north of campus. After the cleaning, she grilled huge T Bone steaks for us…in addition to the cash. A black Doberman named Lilith needed a new home and Dr. Pettay asked if we would keep Lilith at our apartment until she was ready to be bred with Sam. We agreed. Lilith bit various people. She bit Sam. We tried and tried to breed them. Then one day when we were trying to breed them in the apartment, my friend Farouza Abdul Haq dropped by. She was a beautiful woman and a student. She, of course, wore gorgeous saris. She saw what we were trying to do and said we were simply silly. She grabbed both dogs and slammed them together..into the correct position. That was that. It took a beautiful woman in a sari to make this pregnancy.
Lillith was not easy, ever. The puppies required vet help to be born. The vet was bitten in the crotch. The puppies were all red, not desirable scary scary-looking Dobermans like Lillith. The bills from the vet were enormous, and then nobody wanted the pups. I tried to get them in a seeing-eye dog program. They were rejected. I think Dr. Pettay had thought to make money. But the pups grew and ate and Sam and Lillith ate and it was a nightmare. Betsy and I graduated and went off to our separate graduate schools. I never knew what happened after we left Columbus.
History with Dogs
Part II
Draft
Uncle Ray’s Hunting Hounds
Mr. Boo: Springer. Grandma Pat’s dog. Lived in Wellston, Ohio. A lovely black and white field dog. Smarter than the Patterson men when it came to hunting. Ofter disappointed by their lack of attention to prey. Brain went to Ohio State University upon his death.
Fleasy: The Hendershots of Wellston’s dog. Visits to their home, though pleasant, resulted in legs covered with flea bites.
Kinky: A mystic, abandoned on Hood Canal in Union. Fed by Lud in the McCleary House until we adopted him. Full breed standard poodle. Smarter than most but sometimes riddled with guilt over attempts to control forbidden behaviors.
Fred: Mixed breed son of Kinky. Known for eating whole turkey carcasses and large blocks of cheese. Moved on after a relationship split. He chose the other woman.
Bailey: Cocker. known for outstanding intelligence and athleticism. A very good dog who could play hide and seek games and catch balls on second or third bounces. Good predictive ability. Brilliant swimmer.
Cosmo: Springer. known for his books, Conversations with the Inner Dog and Koans for the Inner Dog. Contemplative. A very good buddy dog.
Apple
